To the Esteemed General Managers of the SICHL,

 

We write to you now, not as jealous dethroned champions clinging to past glory, but as

witnesses. Survivors, even! Between us, we have hoisted the last six consecutive

championship trophies, and we remember well your embittered chorus: “Enough!

Boring! The league needs balance!”

 

“Sic semper tyrannis,” you shouted, and tyrants we may have been. The Revolution

has always played the long game, churned out ruthlessly precise performances and 

squeezed value from the margins. The Schooners plied their trade in the shadows with

an ethos for bending the rules, exploiting loopholes, and ruthless acquisition. Our

dominance became the subject of seemingly unending debate but, in the end, comfort.

 

You see, villains give us purpose and a sense of unity, and for six years we have selflessly

provided that service to the league.

 

We gave you such focus. Such clarity. Our methods were envied and emulated, our

habits studied and strategies replicated. We made you better!

If necessity is the mother of invention, then we gave you that fertile ground for innovation.

 

And did you thank us? Did you recognize, as the Romans did, that in times of great

need the stability and decisive hand of a constant victor was required?

 

No, instead, you created a vacuum. A chasm, not to be filled by scrappy underdogs or

rotating contenders, but by a far more malevolent force:

 

Da Bears!

Guy has five championships! FIVE.

 

A five-time champion is not luck. It is not timing. It is systemic superiority. If and when

intelligent life finds us on our little blue rock, will it be benevolent? Or is humanity like

the SICHL, shouting our vulnerabilities in the dark forest of the universe, prey

advertising itself to a predator.

 

You have traded a pair of rival empires for a singular, expanding one! A sincere Congratulations to the Bears, and to the rest of the league....

 

You asked for change. You got it! 

 

Yours in unrivalled humility,

Jeff Prozeller

 Havana Revolution (3x Consecutive Champion)

Eric Schneider

 Nova Scotia Schooners (3x Consecutive Champion)