Death to the Sim!

It's true, the Barons' start this season was not expected, nor was it reasonable.  The almighty Sim had smiled upon the mediocre Barons and all was good with the world.  Then, as is common with fickle Sim, it turned on the Barons.  First causing an injury to (all star snubbed goalie) Jusse Saros, then every other goalie on the team.  It was so bad, that the team had to seek out a new goalie as all of their farm goalies were on the IR.  Then, the Sim decided that goalies weren't enough and it went after every starter on the roster.  I don't think  a week went by in the last 40 games where there weren't at least 2 starters and 1 goalie out.  Why has this happened?  That is a good question. The Barons' management has been on top of assuring that all offerings have been met.  We burn a goat and spill a bottle of 12 year old scotch at the Sim alter.  We couldn't help the human sacrifice wasn't a virgin....she promised she was.  And just because we found her at the bar at the Velveteen Rabbit shouldnt have mattered.  Who are we to judge?  But, apparently the Sim was angered.  So, now we are going to have to take drastic measures.  At some time, GM Mayhugh will make an unannounced visit to SICHL HQ.  Just him a pair of wire cutters and maybe a pinch of plastic explosive and of course a bottle of 12 year old Springbank.  He will sit and enjoy each snip of a wire as he sits backs, and laughs to himself between sips of his scotch.  After he is done watching the Sim die a slow and painful death, the plastic explosive will complete the job.  One more shot of scotch and out the door and back to Brno.  No finger prints, no evidence, just smoldering remains of the once powerful and now lifeless sim.  Now to sit back and wait for the right moment.  Mwah ha ha ha.