Weeks 18, 19, 20 & 21 - Goal in Sight

I mean, let's be honest. The real reason I haven't done the Power Rankings is because I am a Grumpasaurus Rex. Ever since Charlie McAvoy got hurt, I've tumbled down the standings and regressed to the mean. Well, the mean is mean! I liked when I never lost games. Now, I never win them and I'm getting flashbacks to the previous 7 years...blech!

So, let's not focus on me. Let's focus on not me! Ian's Rockies are gunning for the top spot in the league and that illustrious banner, with Mark's Express and Jeff's Revolution nipping at his heels. The Steelhawks and Sun Devils are desperately trying to catch Pat's Slammers and Don's Huskies for the final playoff spot. And looky here, all of a sudden Portland is only 1 point back of London and 3 back from Chicago for the World's final playoff spot. 

And the Gold Points Race, what's going on there? Well...Eric already has it in the bag with TWENTY points after elimination. Everybody else seems to be gunning for 2nd place, but it's a solid race between Dublin and Reykjavik so far. 

 

Spirited discourse on the Discord? Nail biting results? Playoff races that'll make you sweat? A Commish starring in a plane-related show (not TRAIN related, I mean where is the cross branding?)? We've got it ALL in the SICHL. 

Let's go!

1
Banff Rockies
Previous: 3 Trend: 2
Right where he belongs. Ian's team went 13-2 in their last 15 games with a goal differential of plus 35. PLUS 35. We all knew he'd be a rampaging cyclops at the beginning of the season, and now he's getting hot at just the right moment. He's healthy, he's happy, he's clear eyed and full hearted. Dread the Rockies, their revenge tour is in full swing.
2
Havana Revolution
Previous: 5 Trend: 3
You'd think I'd get used to Jeff passing me in the standings. Or winning Continental Cups. Or smoking bigger cigars than me (I had a small one in Vegas while chugging a Bud Light, so basically the same as Jeff's exotic wine that he sips while in some tropical location, right?). Well, I haven't. Every moment I look at the Revolution's stupid logo and team colors and better roster than mine, it makes me sick. Even typing this led to one of my fingernails falling off and I dry heaved when I had to put him 2nd. I'd LOVE to put him first but stupid Ian is slightly better, even though Jeff's gone 9-1 in his last 10 games and has only lost ONE in regulation in his last 13, sporting a plus 24 goal differential. Can we go back to when Jeff was terrible, please?
3
Fredericton Express
Previous: 2 Trend: 1
Mark is doing all this WITHOUT Zachary Werenski and Jordan Kyrou. Werenski is back in 6 days, but Kyrou will take a breather until just about the playoffs starting. This is the only reason Mark dropped a spot, although with how well Havana and Banff are doing, I guess it all makes sense. SIM help whomever faces a member of the Terrible Trio in the opening round. That's the kind of series where if I was facing them I'd be like "Uh...Terrible Trio game in 3, I'm just happy to be here. How far can I jack my playoff ticket prices up?"
4
Montréal Millionaires
Previous: 4 Trend: --
Oh BIIIIG surprise, Kasim's team is doing amazingly well. The big ding in this beautiful purple (or is it burgundy? mauve?) car is that Vincent Trocheck is hurt, currently at 74 percent with a Sprained Right Ankle Injury and I bet that made Kasim Yell Really Loudly. Still, he'll be back in time for the playoffs, adding to this stacked roster of Millionaires playing Millionaires. I'm sure if Montreal meets Havana in the final, the players will have a LOT to talk about...
5
Vancouver Island Norsemen
Previous: 9 Trend: 4
Matt's Norsemen are on an absolute tear, likely due to the fact that he enabled me to crash a work event at the Sticky Wicket Tuesday, where he and I got to sample some DELICIOUS Whiskey's from all over the world! We learned a lot, like how whiskey originally was spelt "uisgy" or when to use an "e" in spelling Whiskey/Whisky AND we even got to sample a taste from a bottle costing $1,000. Holy smokes! Naturally, my hobo-palette determined that the 90 dollar bottle of whiskey was my favorite. No accounting for taste. Oh yeah, SICHL stuff! Norsemen good. There. Now, more about whiskey....
6
Seattle Grunge
Previous: 8 Trend: 2
The Grunge's early season foibles are long in the rearview mirror, with Seattle posting a 7-2-1 record in their last 10 games. Impressive! Not-so-impressive - Gudas (with his 86 DF) is out for 42 days and will likely miss some playoff action. For other teams I'd be worried - for Seattle, Gudas is his SIXTH best defenseman (SIM almighty...) and former Hamburglar OLLI MAATTA will likely see some action! GO MAATTA, I probably never should have traded you and Jack Campbell for a 1st round pick that I used to select Arthur Kaliyev...you know, this trading thing just may not be for me.
7
Edmonton Supersonics
Previous: 11 Trend: 4
For a while there, Mike was flirting with an 8th place dogfight in the trenches, but he's since separated himself in dominating fashion. He's gone 10-4 in his last 14 games and is now 11 points clear of the Steelhawks at 9th.
8
St. Louis Spartans
Previous: 6 Trend: 2
Oof. Ian Cole and his 92DF is hurt for the next 51 days with a Back Injury. He's an old man, so I don't blame him for having a back injury, but that sucks for the Spartans. That being said, they're still among the top of the World Conference and a threat to everybody's W's everywhere. Speaking of backs, I just secured my office chair for free since our company is getting rid of our office entirely! It's pretty sweet, I love working from home anyway and I got a ton of free swag. I won a laptop in a raffle, some rum, about 600 Magic: The Gathering Cards, a $50 Gift Card to the Liquor Store (for helping during the Summit) but I gotta say, finally having a proper ergonomic chair is the tits. No Ian Cole injury for me, nosiree!
9
Acadia Grizzly Bears
Previous: 7 Trend: 2
Guy's Grizzly Bears didn't have the most stellar month, but I feel like it's akin to a bear playing with its food that it's already killed. They're 8th overall in the league for points and sit at 95 points with less than a dozen games to go. It's looking likely they'll face the Norsemen or Supersonics in the first round and holy hell is that going to be a gauntlet to get through. Boy am I glad to be in the super dope World Conference! Oh, not because the competition is easier, we just have way more fun. Am I right WORLD GMS??? The Grizzly Bears are almost entirely healthy as well - an enviable position to be in at this point in the season, no doubt!
10
Portland Buckaroos
Previous: 16 Trend: 6
If you're not terrified of Portland, now is a very good time to start being scared. They're quickly catching up to the Monarchs and Tigers, though London does have 3 games in hand. They have absolutely no injuries and had 11 wins in their last 16 games, the 3rd most in the league. Their goaltending seems to have stabilized and JT Miller is an absolute beast - 86 points in 72 games, 80 PIms and a plus 32. 208 hits!! This guy hockeys EVERYTHING.
11
Brno Barons
Previous: 15 Trend: 4
Ok Brno, I see you! Brno has gone 10-4 in their last 14 games with a really impressive plus 16 goal differential. Only four teams had a better differential over the last month, and those teams were Banff, Havana, Vancouver Island and Montreal so obviously Bob is doing something right! Aside from Elmer Soderblom's brutal Torn Right Knee Ligaments Injury, they're fully healthy and I know I wouldn't want to face a motivated Saros in the first round. I like Brno's team, but they're relatively inexperienced. Will this hurt them come playoff time? Don't ask me, I haven't been in the playoffs in 82 years!
12
London Monarchs
Previous: 12 Trend: --
Michael must be scoreboard watching with his heart medication close by, I wouldn't know how else he does it. He's in a playoff spot, but he, Sheetal and JD are in a three way dance of death for those final playoff spots. Sebastian Aho is having a terrific season, with 86 points in only 69 games and NINE power play goals. Magnificent! The Monarchs, as usual, are an offensive juggernaut with SEVEN 20 goal scorers. They are also 100% healthy - this isn't a jinx, I'm just trying to heighten the tension for the upcoming playoff race. He also dredged me 5-2. BOOOO!!!
13
Chicago Tigers
Previous: 10 Trend: 3
If I had to place a bet (and I did just place a few bets in Vegas!), I's ay the Tigers get in but boy is it getting tight. You really don't have room for any kind of losing streak. Sheetal has gone 7-5 in his last 12 games. Hardly a disaster, but he's not giving himself any room to breathe. Thankfully, he gets defensive stalwart Alexander Wennberg, but the worst news is his other Alexander (Alexandar) Georgiev is out for 32 days. Hoo boy. He'll be back for playoffs, if the Tigers can squeak in without him. Good luck, Sheetal!
14
Whitehorse Huskies
Previous: 14 Trend: --
How come Don has only 9 games left and the Sun Devils have 15 left? I think I know why - Don has been sneaking his team into the Okanagan so he can play golf!! That has to be the reason. The weather in BC (well in Victoria at least) has been FANTASTIC. Eric, you may not know what "Victoria" is, it's where you lived for a lot of your time on the island. I also just found out Don lived in Brentwood Bay at one time! That's incredible. What a Don place to live. So, the Huskies are in a rabid fight for the playoffs with the Slammers, Steelhawks and Sun Devils. Out of those four rosters, you have to give the nod to Don's. That blueline is LETHAL. If he only had a goalie...
15
Philadelphia Fire Ants
Previous: 13 Trend: 2
Norm had a so-so month in the standings, but he's going to be a playoff team especially when Tanev, Cozens, Simek and Parker-Jones come back from injury. Ok, Simek and Parker-Jones aren't in the same category, but I didn't want them to feel left out. Plus, John Parker-Jones sounds like a superhero's alter alias. I was thinking it was like a combo of Peter Parker and Martian Manhunter, but I just learned that Martian Manhunter's real name is J'onn J'onzz which is really funny. Sorry, no rule of acquisition this week but it will return for next time! Just wait, maybe one day I can post images in the Power Rankings. Hey, if we got a GHA website, I can dream!
16
Nova Scotia Schooners
Previous: 29 Trend: 13
;)
17
Hamburg Gladiators
Previous: 1 Trend: 16
:(
18
Okanagan Sun Devils
Previous: 19 Trend: 1
Well I was going to put the Sun Devils higher, but Ryan is arguing with me about the Maple Leafs in the other league, so that's enough for me to drop him a few spots AND no in-depth analysis. I AM A CORRUPT AND VILE POWER RANKINGS GURU!
19
Ottawa Slammers
Previous: 18 Trend: 1
Pat's playoff hopes took a major hit with starting goaltender Antti Raanta being injured with a Severed Left Wrist Tendons Injury and is out for another 28 days. He'll be back before the end of the season, but thankfully Pat has some goaltending depth to weather the storm. His next few games are a mish mash - he plays the Aces and Mustangs, but also Montreal, Havana TWICE and the Norsemen in the next few games. It's do or die at this point for the Slammers. Pat didn't hear no bell! ME LIKE HOCKEY!
20
Hamilton Steelhawks
Previous: 17 Trend: 3
Chris may have thrown in the towel on Discord, but I wouldn't be so sure. Pat's Slammers lost their starting goaltender and Hamilton is only 2 points back. Still, this season has been a massive improvement for the Steelhawks and Chris should be commended for that! He'll have some great re-rates for next season as well. Chaos is a ladder, and so is the SICHL! Keep that in mind Chris and best of luck for the rest of the run.
21
Vancouver Vipers
Previous: 20 Trend: 1
The Vipers are in a really tough spot as Kings of the Mushy Middle. They're not eliminated yet, so they can't accumulate Gold Points. They're 12 points back of a playoff spot, so not much hope there either. Aside from Cole Perfetti, they're nearly fully healthy. I'm not sure what Bryce does here, but I'll just say I'm glad I'm not in his shoes! Best of luck, VVs! Hey, I've never called them that before. If I can ever do images in these rankings, I'll do a video game association rankings and I'll put the Vipers as the excellent, bizarre platformer VVVVVV
22
Boston Colonials
Previous: 21 Trend: 1
Boston is in the same position as the Vipers - too good for elimination, not good enough for the playoffs. It's a brutal position to be in, but Boston has some excellent pieces in place to try again next year. Gary is a credit to the league as well, be it as a guest on the puckcast (ANOTHER THING IAN DOES WELL, CAN THIS MAN DO ANY WRONG???) or volunteering in any capacity for the SICHL. Chin up, Gary!
23
Dublin Shamrocks
Previous: 30 Trend: 7
Wait a minute...for the bottom of the Power Rankings, I can just use the Gold Points to determine my order! It's GENIUS! Ryan picked a hell of a time to stop being injured and start winning some games. They beat me, which like...good for them, but everybody is beating me these days so they don't get credit for that. They almost upset the Schooners, they beat the red-hot Buckaroos in Portland, they took the Revolution to Overtime...I dunno, I could see Ryan pulling off having the 2nd best lottery odds. Go Ryan!
24
Reykjavik Riders
Previous: 27 Trend: 3
Syl. Oh boy, Syl. I love reading his thoughts on the Gold Points system (has there been a more hotly debated topic in SICHL history?) and I love seeing his team emerge and start to win some big games. He beat Dublin 3-2 in overtime, before taking down the mighty G'Bears in a 7-6 thriller a few days later. He can beat up the basement dwellers, but he can also shock playoff teams (he recently beat the Tigers 3-2). The injuries are starting to pile up, but it would shock me if the Riders weren't in a top 3 Gold Points position. Count on it!
25
Jacksonville Gators
Previous: 26 Trend: 1
Losing Tatar for 25 days is brutal for a team trying to get those ever crucial Gold Points, but Jacksonville currently sits in 4th in that regard, with 5! FIVE GOLD POINTS! AH AH! Goaltending has been a surprise strength for the Gators, with Jake Allen sporting a 0.921 save percentage. Also they have goaltender HUNTER SHEPARD and JAXSON STAUBER which have to be the two most badass names for goalies in the entire league. That is awesome.
26
Calgary Mustangs
Previous: 28 Trend: 2
OK, two more teams to go (I am doing the Rankings out of order). I need to shower and do dishes and then make dinner and it's...10:14pm? See this is what happens when you take a 1.5 hour nap post work. Everything feels very off. Is a 1.5 hour nap a nap? I think that enters "passing out" territory. And it's probably too late to eat, but I am STARVING and I just went to the gym so balls to that. Perhaps just a bagel or three? Sorry, I get distracted when I'm hungry. Uh...the Mustangs! Well, I do think Matt is excellent in Discord, particularly when talking about TV Shows and...sorry, I just can't do it. Mustangs are a hockey team, there.
27
Las Vegas Aces
Previous: 23 Trend: 4
The Aces have 3 Gold Points, and not a ton of injuries...though everybody seems to be tuckered out a bit. Can the Aces climb the Gold Ladder? Well, they've got the Barons, Slammers and Rex as their next 3. Winnable games, let's see how the momentum goes!
28
Regina Bisons
Previous: 22 Trend: 6
Regina is in an odd spot. They have a ton of injuries, but thankfully none of them mega meaningful. They're going to have to rely on Jack Campbell to get them some wins late season, because the rest of the goaltender contingent is...well, let's say inexperienced. How about Nick Suzuki? 84 points in 72 games with eight power play goals and six game winners...that's MVP material right there. I like the Bisons next year - Boldy and Nyquist should get monster re-rates. Plus, I gotta cheer on former Hamburglars Soucy and Ohgren. I'm sorry my children, I...wait, they're harvesting TERAZINE! DADDY LOVES YOU! (Eric will get where this is from, it's not creepy don't worry)
29
Toronto Rex
Previous: 25 Trend: 4
The Rex have 1 Gold Point and 1 win in their last 10 games. They should probably be in the 30th spot, but Gold is everything to the lottery teams, so I have to err on the side of cold, calculating math and numbers. Eventually I'll do a Power Rankings where I just go by my own emotions and feelings. Screw the standings! I like the Rex's moxy, motto and future. Maybe they'll be number 1 next Rankings! (they won't be)
30
Stockholm Cougars
Previous: 24 Trend: 6
Tom doesn't have the worse team, or the worst record, but he does have zero Gold Points so I have to put him dead last. Sorry, Tom! I am confident you won't be the next time I do the Rankings and I'm positive I won't wait another month because we don't HAVE another month of regular season play left in us!

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