Weeks 7 & 8 - Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
And all through the house
Henry was using his DOTA 2 themed gaming mouse
To properly order the SICHL hockey teams
In a way that makes sense, it seems!
So sit back and enjoy a brew
While I spin a tale of nonsense for you
Brandon Wheat Kings
Previous: 4 Trend: 3
And it was Doug! DOUG at the top of the hill! Not over it, not under it, the Wheat Kings are full of will. They're first in the league, in both points and panache. If you're not careful, they'll whip by you in a flash.
Previous: 7 Trend: 5
Not to be outdone, it's Gary's squad! 7-2-1 in their last 10, they're certainly singing Feliz Navidad!
Vancouver Island Norsemen
Previous: 2 Trend: 1
Is Sid still hurt? Is he still broken? According to Matt's Twitter, the SICHL gods have spoken. He's on the mend, and getting better. And likely wearing an ugly Christmas sweater!
Nova Scotia Schooners
Previous: 1 Trend: 3
Fear not, Eric, nobody stays on top for long. It's simply midnight, can you hear the gong? Your carriage is a pumpkin, your horses are now mice! With no built in skates, they'll be useless on ice!
Las Vegas Aces
Previous: 5 Trend: --
Once upon a midnight dreary, while Dustin pondered, weak and weary, delirious from a bodily flu...he looked at the scoreboard...EIGHT TO TWO?!!?
Previous: 3 Trend: 3
Thank you for being a friend! Travel down the road and back again! Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant!
Philadelphia Fire Ants
Previous: 8 Trend: 1
Something's happening, dear readers, to our power rankings master. He tried to continue the Christmas Poem power rankings, but it's turned into a disaster! Where did the Raven come from? Or the Golden Girls? What's next, describing Norm as a Ferengi-like churl?
Acadia Golden Bears
Previous: 13 Trend: 5
A Golden Bear is smarter than the average bear, a Golden Bear is always in the other GMs hair. At a trading table you will find him there, acquiring more assets than the average bear!
Previous: 14 Trend: 5
Excuse me officer, what I do for you? Pulling me over for hijacking the power rankings, but I'm just trying to share...Stick to the script, or I'll suffer a terrible fate? Fine. Pat's Slammers are great.
Previous: 12 Trend: 2
Boy I sure do love the Supersonics of Mike, their points are abound and they're ready to take flight. What's that? How dare you accuse me of phoning it in, I'm doing the same themed poem rhyme scheme as before, much to my own chagrin.
Previous: 9 Trend: 2
Ah to be puffing on a cigar, and sipping good Caribbean rum. Jeff did you think I would spend Christmas eve bashing your team? Come, come. You may be down a few spots, but I'm confident next (2) week, you'll find yourself climbing the slots.
Previous: 6 Trend: 6
Oh come on, Henry, said Mark. Down six spots, have these power rankings jumped the shark? Well, that's what happens when you only win 2 of your last 8 games, when many other teams have done better, or the same.
Previous: 18 Trend: 5
Ok, what the hell is up with Toronto? I get that they're an expansion team, so....Shouldn't they be bad? Awful? Dead last? Instead, they're climbing the standings..and FAST
Previous: 17 Trend: 3
Don, the Huskies, and his merry cheer! It's nice to see spot 14 held down by a man who knows no fear. Eighth overall, and goals galore! The Huskies should feared, or they're liable to score!
Previous: 19 Trend: 4
Henry, that's enough exclamation points, said the GM of the Millionaires. He puffed his pipe, put on a house coat and sat in a comfy chair. Now, let me tell you how to draft a good team. As you can see, I'm in spot 15, I know how to run a good scheme!
Previous: 11 Trend: 5
Corey says enough! He was a Christmas themed rhyme! About how his team dropped 5 places and refuses to climb? Or that Hemsky and Galchenyuk are out so long, it's a crime?
St. Louis Spartans
Previous: 10 Trend: 7
I mean, how am I supposed to say something holiday themed about Sean? I could say he's filled with brains and brawn! I could say his team has taken a bit of a tumble, down the chimney with a great big rumble?
Previous: 16 Trend: 2
Or that Sam is still paying his dues, despite having a much better selection of reindeer and elves shining his shoes?
Previous: 15 Trend: 4
Or that Matt's Mustangs are an underachieving bunch, that have fallen to 18th in the standings and 19th in the rankings with a thunderous crunch! No need to worry about me placing you first, Matthew! This holiday season, be grateful that you're not the worst!
Previous: 25 Trend: 5
Sheetal's scenery change seems to be working! The Tigers are on a 6-2 tear and the Tigers are smirking! A playoff berth is only 3 points away! - oh, I do hope the Tigers will stay!
Previous: 20 Trend: 1
Despite Tony's lamentations, the Riders haven't gotten out of their funk. With humbugs instead of Christmas cheer, their record lately has kind of stunk. I still like their odds, I still like their mirth, I still like their chances of snagging a playoff berth!
Previous: 22 Trend: --
The Shamrocks refuse to die, and why wouldn't they? A respectable 4-4-2 in their last ten, they are here to stay. The Christmas break may bring some much needed rest, to the five injured players who aren't exactly blessed.
Previous: 23 Trend: --
The Barons have come back to earth this week, as it's tough to get out of the basement. Yet I'm sure that Bob isn't content with this placement! He's only three points out of a playoff spot, you know! Bigger Christmas miracles have happened, they've just got to get into a flow.
Kansas City Krunch
Previous: 24 Trend: --
With all the deals Kirk is making, the Krunch are not laying dormant. I know this piece of information because I have an informant! Santa Claus told me, with smiling cheer, ONE DAY THE KRUNCH SHALL BE PROPERLY FEARED!
Previous: 21 Trend: 4
SIM save great Michael, our GM! SIM save our noble GM, SIM save the GM! Send him victorious! Happy and glorious! Long to reign over us, SIM save the GM!
Previous: 26 Trend: --
Bryce's season has been filled with injuries and loss, but not to fear! There is much to celebrate, no need to quit hockey and try lacrosse! Taylor Hall has a mighty 20 points, alongside a group of other great young players. With Rakell, Guentzel, Provorov and Fabbri at the core, I say ignore all the doomsayers!
Previous: 27 Trend: --
Now we're really getting a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Suck. Henry's Gladiators aren't getting better, they seem to be stuck! 27th isn't something to aspire to, I would say it sucks, wouldn't you?
Previous: 28 Trend: --
And we finish our Christmas Poem with Ian's Rockies, who are managing to rebuild assets to play a good bit of...hockey's. It seems I'm losing my rhyming scheme, and also out of steam. So before I end this Merry Rankings, I'll do my best to redeem...myself. Damnit! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYBODY