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Weeks 1 & 2 - Here's a real high-class bout!

We're now 2 weeks in and with a leisurely schedule for most teams, we're already seeing some teams separate themselves fro mthe pack. We have the Revolution and Schooners, both undefeated in regulation. We have the Rockies and the...hmmm, wait, do I still have to do the Power Rankings if I'm back to being the worst team in the league? (Goes to check rulebook). Don't see anything in there, I better call Mike. (Calls Mike - voicemail, he's probably having dinner with his family). Hmm. (Henry thinks). I better do them anyway. After all, surely I can't go winless the whole season right? Hmm. (Checks SICHL History books under "Miami Makos...)

Havana Revolution
Previous: 4 Trend: up 3
Get used to seeing Jeff's team in the top 5 this year. He's a perfect 7 and 0, he's outscoring teams, on average 4.5 to 1.5 and McDavid is playing like McDavid should, with 15 points so far on the season.
Nova Scotia Schooners
Previous: 1 Trend: down 1
Not too far behind are your Nova Scotia Schooner, with a 5-0-1 record. He needed overtime to beat the Millionaires, but they're not quite the pushovers they used to be. With Kucherov, Toews and Tavares, is there a team with a more deadly trio up front? I'm sure there might be, but I just spent 7 hours getting home on the ferries, so cut me some slack.
Calgary Mustangs
Previous: 6 Trend: up 3
Matt and I made a deal at the Summit and one of the stipulations was that I can't have him as the number one team this year. Fair enough, but Matt's got a lot of work to do if he's going to hold up his end of the bargain! No injuries, he's got 5 players with 3 goals so far and Lehner is playing lights out, with a 0.930 Save percentage. Awesome!
Brandon Wheat Kings
Previous: 17 Trend: up 13
And Doug starts the season off red hot. He's 5-2, his team is completely healthy, he just shut out the Huskies in Whitehouse and his Penalty Kill is red hot. Sure, two of his five wins are against the Rockies, but Doug can't help who he beats!
Las Vegas Aces
Previous: 5 Trend: --
Not much to hate about Dustin's team, they're 5-01 and will be competing with the Havana Revolution for the conference lead week after week. The only reason he's behind the Mustangs and Wheat Kings is the injury to Kopitar who is out for another 38 days with a bruised right shoulder injury. Ouch!
Ottawa Slammers
Previous: 18 Trend: up 12
Pat's improved greatly upon what we thought he'd be. Balanced scoring has helped (4 players already with 5 points), 5 different players with a powerplay goal, and the highest penalty minutes belongs to Erik Karlsson, with only 10 in 6 games. Not too shabby.
Fredericton Express
Previous: 19 Trend: up 12
Likewise, Mark's team is exceeding far beyond what he'd though, and look at those goals fly! He's got six players with 5 points each, a top 10 powerplay and 6th overall in combined ST%. I would say Mark's gotta be happy with that, but he's such an enigmatic figure...PERHAPS HE ISN'T!
Boston Colonials
Previous: 14 Trend: up 6
Not that any of you want any insight as to my "process" or how I come up with hilarious, articulate rankings every two weeks, but for some reason Boston is the last team I'm doing a write up on. I'm tired, hungry and eager to forget our stormy ferry trip from Tsawassen to Schwartz Bay. And Boston, thankfully, has done so. With four wins in a row, and close losses to the Spartans and Rapids, the Colonials are poised to be a solid 3-4 seed in the World Conference this year. Kesler and Trocheck each have 4 goals to start and Reimer has been stellar - 1.67 GAA and a 0.917 Save Percentage. Me likey!
Québec Canons
Previous: 7 Trend: down 2
The Canons are off to a great start, with only 1 regulation loss in 6 games. No injuries in sight, and 3 out of a possible 4 points in their home-at-home with the Schooners bodes well for them. Let's see how they do against Montreal, Ottawa and...well some other team we don't need to mention. They're probably super lucky to have such a handsome, funny GM who tries very hard at the power rankings.
Philadelphia Fire Ants
Previous: 10 Trend: --
The Champ is here! Norm begins his campaign as the ruler of our little kingdom with a respectable 4-2 record. Lots of players with a good plus/minus and Stamkos has 8 points in 6 games. Rask could be doing better - his 0.865 Save Percentage would make me a little irritable. You might think Norm would still be smiling and basking in his Cup win last year, but remember Rule of Acquisition Number 10 - Greed is Eternal.
Vancouver Vipers
Previous: 21 Trend: up 10
Bryce's Vipers were the hardest to rank. On the one hand, they only have 7 points. On the other hand, they've only played 4 games and are 3-0-1. Maybe they should have an asterisk beside them? Kris Russell is out for a few weeks, but you have to think that Ivan Provorov's 90 DF (90!!!) and four forwards with a 70+ DF including Daniel Winnik's 87 should help offset that defensive loss. So far, this team lives and dies with Taylor Hall who has 1/3 of the team's goals so far.
Whitehorse Huskies
Previous: 3 Trend: down 9
Not to spoil spot number 19, but it's Ryan and the Shamrocks and I'm calling him the Mad Scientist but if HE'S the Mad Scientist, then Don is a whole laboratory of excited experimenters of excellence. You know the Huskies are a target when opposing GMs ALWAYS tweet when they beat them...or maybe that's because they know Don is one of the most active and engaged GMs on Twitter and want to get in on the action!
Denver Rapids
Previous: 9 Trend: down 4
And the new era of the Rapids begins! Sam may not be in the top 5, but he's clearly moved out of the basement and has a hell of a lineup to boot. J.T. Miller, Jeff Carter and Morgan Rielly are leading the way with 5 points each and Luongo is settling in nicely. It may take a few weeks for Sam to get used to being on the winning side, but hey, we've all been there!
London Monarchs
Previous: 20 Trend: up 6
Did Michael not get the memo that the Monarchs weren't supposed to be very good this year? With all his gallivanting and charm he displayed at the Summit, one would think he was just playing us all for fools. The Monarchs are a very respectable 3-2-1 to start off the year and have to be happy with the Great 8's production - 5 goals in 6 games and two game winners already. It's early, but the Monarchs could be a dark horse.
Acadia Golden Bears
Previous: 2 Trend: down 13
Guy has a million players in his system, all of whom are probably pretty good. Guy's depth is nearly unmatched, but he's not off to his usual dominance. No injuries, but a hell of a blue line (I mean, just look at it!!!) and an 83 OV Holtby means Guy won't be looking to be in a playoff spot for long.
Vancouver Island Norsemen
Previous: 15 Trend: down 1
See, Matt knows the sim hates him. He also knows that the sim knows this. So he's in this epic mental battle of trying to trick the sim into thinking he won't be good this year. But we all know he will be. Right?
Reykjavik Riders
Previous: 12 Trend: down 5
Sylvain has 16 forwards with a 70+ scoring. That's scoring depth unmatched by any other team and it won't be long before they're the cream of the crop. For now, they're just...uh...the irrigation of the crop? I'm not a farmer, sorry. Three straight wins, but then two losses put them back a step or two. Get used to hearing this, they gave up six goals to the Revolution. Has anybody NOT given up six goals to the Revolution yet? (Checks Havana's teampage). A-HA! You only got 1 goal against Brno and 2 goals against...Brno. OK EVERYBODY, BOB'S GOT THE DEFENSIVE SECRET AGAINST HAVANA, LET'S GET HIM!!!
St. Louis Spartans
Previous: 8 Trend: down 10
So-so week(s) for Sean's Spartans. Still early days, no injuries and the craziest d-core I've seen to date. Chara, Slavin, Ceci and Polak's average DF rating is 93.5. Dear lord. If some teams are having a hard time score, they're going to be hitting a headache when they visit St. Louis. Also, is there a better contract in the league than Jacob Slavin's $700k?
Dublin Shamrocks
Previous: 27 Trend: up 8
Ok and clocking in and number 19, it's our new resident Mad Scientist, Ryan! The Shamrocks are off to a not too bad start, beating up on the poor Hamburglars 5-2 before being stunned 6-1 to the Revolution. At least Ryan and I can rest easy knowing that we're both going to be battered and bruised by Jeff's best wingmen (Skey).
Edmonton Supersonics
Previous: 13 Trend: down 7
Oh Mike, not again. Not again! We're not going to do this AGAIN this year, are we? Look at your lineup! You have 9 guys with 70+ SC. You have 7 dmen with 80+ DF. Your starting goalie, Cam Talbot, is an 81 overall. Yet you're 20th in the rankings and out of the playoffs. The good news - it's super early and you're only 2 points out of the playoffs. I'm confident you'll turn this around.
Kansas City Krunch
Previous: 11 Trend: down 10
With all the major moves Kirk made, his team is bound to have some growing pains. One doesn't go from basement dweller to cup contender overnight! ...Unless you're the Krunch and get back to back number 1 overalls. Hmm, are those what Mario (the Italian plumber, not Lemieux) wears?
Stockholm Cougars
Previous: 16 Trend: down 6
Tom's guys are sorely in need of a nap. Klefbom is out for a week, Staal, Barkov and Perry are all tired too. That being said, if the Cougars want to make the playoffs, they're going to have to rely on their top talent. The good news - the top talent is talented. The bad news is the bottom six guys are not. Love seeing Gladiators legend Daniel Sedin in the same division. Fan night for the franchise leader in everything will be held soon!
Montréal Millionaires
Previous: 26 Trend: up 3
Kaz is slowly climbing the ranks. Arvidsson was leading the league in points until McDavid activated Super Saiyan mode (level 1), and has 9 points and ZERO Pims. MVP ntype numbers, there. Goaltending isn't great, but Kaz now has several legitimate scoring threats. AND Nail Yakupov - love that guy! (Don't read too much into that, buddy. Welcome back to the West Coast).
Toronto Metropolitans
Previous: 22 Trend: down 2
Toronto has kept a lot of his games close, so that's a good start. Wins over the Golden Bears and Millionaires is nothing to sneeze at, and Nick Foligno's 7 points in 7 games isn't either. Goaltending is going to be a big issue, but through seven games their shot differential is +14. That's...actually not bad!
Chicago Tigers
Previous: 23 Trend: down 2
Sheetal is winless, but at least he's had the decency to take a few teams to overtime to grab some points on the board. Newly acquired Kyle Turris is a lone bright point, with 6 points and 0 PIMs in 6 games. You take care of Turris, Sheetal. I miss him already. And we'll miss you! Best of luck on the East Coast.
Brno Barons
Previous: 24 Trend: down 2
Brno's got some work to do and it'll be tough goings this season. After all, they have to contend with the Gladiators and Rockies duking out for the number 1 overall draft pick next year.
Hamburg Gladiators
Previous: 25 Trend: down 2
As Don Cherry would say, they can't score, they don't hit...I mean, much time we got left??? M-talk T-talk
Banff Rockies
Previous: 28 Trend: --
And rounding off our week 1 and 2 power rankings are the Banff Rockies. Ian has made enough trades to make your head spin and he has FOUR first round picks in the upcoming draft. FOUR. I have TWO and I thought I was sitting pretty. But, to quote Lewis Black, I was ****ing wrong, wasn't I?


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