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Week 5 & 6 - Is Sid Still Hurt?

What a wacky couple of weeks! From Kasim crushing teams far better than him, to the Norsemen going 34 days without a regulation loss (without Sid naturally), to Boston zooming up the charts, to (cheers) the Revolution hitting an unanticipated snag, to Kirk making some HUGE deals. Never a dull moment on SICHL and if you're not engaged on Twitter, you're missing out. Let's see what happened in last few weeks, RANKINGS STYLE! 

1
Nova Scotia Schooners
Previous: 1 Trend: --
The Schooners are the first time to avoid the curse of the number 1 spot...or are they? Sure they may be 16-3-1, and have the best goal differential, and had the most points in the last few weeks, and scored the most goals and...hmmm, what was I saying again?
2
Vancouver Island Norsemen
Previous: 9 Trend: up 7
Is Sid still hurt? Yes, and the Norsemen didn't lose in regulation for 34 days. Apparently the secret to winning, as Matt alluded to in a secret email, is that he's going to try and play without Centers for the rest of the season. Why not??? Normally an injury to a star player would cripple your chances at climbing 7 spots in the rankings, but Matt's proven that he might as well trade Crosby since he obviously doesn't need him. What's good for the goose is good for the Hamburglar...
3
Stockholm Cougars
Previous: 8 Trend: up 5
Until Kamara went down, Tom was not only dominating SICHL, but our Fantasy Fooball league. He only lost once in regulation in the last two weeks, going 4-1-1. He's getting outstanding goaltending from Budaj and Mason (and that'll be the only time anybody ever says THAT), and balanced scoring from top talents like Marleau, Barkov and John Moore. John Moore? Well, I suppose better late than never for a 1st rounder drafted 8 years ago. It seems Tom is getting a lot out of not that much, thank goodness I don't have to play him all that much. Oh, except my next game. Sigh.
4
Brandon Wheat Kings
Previous: 7 Trend: up 3
Hey remember that time when Doug was really good at SICHL and doesn't bother with all that drafting nonsense? Well, I do. And it's all the time. Doug's team had another impressive 7 game stint, going 4-2-1 and doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon. The only thing that will be holding him back is a crazy amount of injuries to his D-core - Vlasic, Martin and Cole are all out for extended periods of time.
5
Las Vegas Aces
Previous: 2 Trend: down 3
Dustin drops a few spots for a couple of reasons - he had an even goal differential and only went 4-2 in his last 6 games. BUT he also crashed the SIM due to the SIM crashing him with injuries. Been there, done that. Thanks (but not really) to Kasim for bailing him out for a 7th round pick.
6
Fredericton Express
Previous: 11 Trend: up 5
CHOOO CHOOO, here comes the Express! Aside from a small injury to the unsmall Derek Forbort (who?), Mark's team is killing it. Aside from a loss to the Hamburglars (giggle) and a very streaky record, the Express look to secure their first playoff berth in about an hour. I love the balanced scoring on this team, led by perennial sniper Mark...Letestu??? OK, who adjusted the scoring sliders???
7
Boston Colonials
Previous: 19 Trend: up 12
A few insignificant injuries aren't bothering Gary - he's on an absolute tear and the only undefeated in regulation team in weeks 5 and 6. A sparkling 5-0-1 record, with 23 goals and 15 against in 6 games is something that's going to help him against his dreaded American counterparts. You may think a 12 jump spot is ridiculous, and it is, but remember Kasim won a whole bunch of games and Guy, Norm and Matt Burch didn't so everything is Topsy Turvy this rankings. Don't blame me, blame the SIM! (Recommend you do not blame the SIM, it is merciless and has a foul temper).
8
Philadelphia Fire Ants
Previous: 3 Trend: down 5
Woof! Norm's Fire Ants have only 1 win in their last 6 games and I'm probably being mean to place him this low, but again, Topsy Turvy Town this week. Norm, if I may remind you of Rule of Acquisition number 33 - It never hurts to suck up to the boss. In this case, the boss(es) are Mark and Mike. See what you can do.
9
Havana Revolution
Previous: 6 Trend: down 3
The Revolution didn't have as bad a week as some other top teams, but going 3-3 is not going to do you any favors when everybody else is seemingly undefeated since the Napoleonic era. Plus, he lost to the Millionaries twice, which is just as good as losing to the Gladiators in every playoff matchup we've had (don't quote me). Not all is lost, McDavid still leads the league in points, and Jeff hasn't lost more than two in a row. Yet.
10
St. Louis Spartans
Previous: 18 Trend: up 8
Oh man, I can already tell I'm going to take a lot of guff this week. WAY too many teams are jumping too high. My mathematical, philosophical, psychological, perfect formula for determining the rankings are sinking faster than an Edmonton Oiler playoff berth. Regardless, Sean's team had a terrific rebound, going 5-2-1 in his last 8 games. However, he's going to have to continue to deal with Gudbranson and Sbisa being out for at least a week each. Still, you have to admire a team who hasn't lost more than two in a row all season so far. Spartans > Gladiators, it would seem.
11
Québec Canons
Previous: 10 Trend: down 1
Quebec had a ho-hum couple of weeks, which describes half the league. No, seriously, 14 teams were either 1 game above, below or at .500 and do you know what that does to my sanity? I understand median scores, standard distribution BUT HOW CAN YOU QUANTIFY EMOTIONS? PASSION? Surely the Canons "wanted" it more than the Monarchs, Slammers and the rest of the teams that were so-so last few weeks? The edge lies in goal -Devan Dubynyk is playing lights out. A 2.20 GAA and a 0.928 Save percentage is going to win you games, no matter who you have in your lineup. Well, except the Rockies and Hamburlgars - a permanent brick wall a la Wayne Gretzky's 3D Hockey wouldn't help those teams.
12
Edmonton Supersonics
Previous: 14 Trend: up 2
What the hell? Mike rose in the rankings! That means he had a good couple of weeks! That means the SIM is finally understanding that this is a very good roster. If the Supersonics aren't careful, they'll repeat win as the "most cursed team" award, given to the team who effectively builds a deep, balanced roster and doesn't make the playoffs because life is anything but fair.
13
Acadia Golden Bears
Previous: 5 Trend: down 8
I nearly got whiplash from the double take I did when I looked at the Golden Bears' record in the last few weeks. 2-4 is hardly a disaster, but it's definitely not up to Guy standards. He's just laying low, I imagine. After all, you don't win the cup in (looks at calendar) HOW IS IT MID DECEMBER ALREADY? What happened to 2017? How was the summit 4 months ago already?
14
Ottawa Slammers
Previous: 12 Trend: down 2
As much Topsy Turvy action there was in the last few weeks, many teams were neither Topsy nor Turvy and the Slammers were one of them. They went a respectable 4-3, are in a playoff spot and are only dealing with one injury to Mark Stuart (his 86 DF isn't anything to shake a stick at!). Pat's team is still seeking that elusive big win streak - since day 12, he hasn't won or lost more than two in a row. The next few games will be a big test as they face the powerhouse Cougars, Schooners and Norsemen before an ego boosting game with the Gladiators.
15
Calgary Mustangs
Previous: 4 Trend: down 11
Ok, this is just mean and Matt, I'm sorry that you dropped 11 spots. There, I apologized for a ranking. Sorry dudes, but the amount of calculations I've been doing is making me see double here (four Krusty's!) and the Mustangs are the sacrificial goat. To be fair, they went a stinky 2-5, gaining the second least amount of points in the entire league (only 2 more than the Rockies) SO THERE. Their backup goalie, Jimmy Howard, will be back within a week so maybe he'll shake things up and get the Mustangs back to where they belong - nowhere near 15th (again, Matt, sorry!).
16
Denver Rapids
Previous: 13 Trend: down 3
Sam's probably so shocked that he's winning games now that it still takes some getting used to, so I chalk this up to normal growing pains. Losing Coburn for about a month hurts, but he's deep enough that he'll weather the Rapidly approaching storm of the Norsemen and the Revolution. Tough, but fair.
17
Whitehorse Huskies
Previous: 15 Trend: down 2
ANOTHER team that went 4-3, Don's the Huskies have found their pack leader in Mark Stone - what a season so far! 10 goals in 20 games, plus 9 and only 4 PIMs. Love it. It's weird to see Matthew Tkachuk 2nd on the team in PIMs, but I'm sure he'll get to number 1 before long. Looking at this lineup...I predict the Huskies to start competing properly once their goaltending picks up. All 3 goalies are under 0.900 save percentage, which won't cut it among the top teams.
18
Toronto Metropolitans
Previous: 22 Trend: up 4
Chris has put together a nice streak, going 2-0-1 in his last 3, but two of those wins were against their expansion counterparts the Rockies, and the Barons. We'll have to see how this turns out, but a team that also beats the Wheat Kings, Mustangs and Golden Bears has something cooking in the back. It's either delicious or putrid, and I can't tell which yet. Stay tuned!
19
Montréal Millionaires
Previous: 26 Trend: up 7
Whoa, what the hell is Kasim doing all the way up here? He's not supposed to be jumping all the way into the teens until at least another year! Well, the Millionaries disagree and are tired of paying their dues (and taxes, AM I RIGHT FELLOW PLEBIANS???) and have won an astounding 5 in a row against some pretty good teams. Like the Revolution, twice. Tee hee, Jeff did you recall you lost twice to the Millionaires? Just in case you forgot, you lost twice to the Millionaries, in regulation.
20
Reykjavik Riders
Previous: 25 Trend: up 5
TONY - WHAT DID I TELL YOU? I TOLD YOU THEY WERE TOO GOOD FOR THIS TO LAST, THEY'll BOUNCE BACK I SAID. I AM THE SMARTEST HOCKEY ANALYST EVER, I REALLY SHOULD PREDICT EVERY SERIES WINNER FROM NOW ON. I'LL BE RICH ENOUGH TO AFFORD FOUR HOUSES, INSTEAD OF ONLY THREE. AND...hey, where is everybody? Oops, I forgot we don't record on Sundays...
21
London Monarchs
Previous: 21 Trend: --
London went 4-3 and you'd think that would be enough to raise him one spot, but nope, absolutely not. Going 4-3 in weeks 5 and 6 is like saying you went outside, went to work and came home - everybody is doing it, and it doesn't warrant a pat on the back. Neither does losing three in a row before beating the Shamrocks...of course, 4-3. And they beat the Rapids a few days ago...4-3. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
22
Dublin Shamrocks
Previous: 17 Trend: down 5
Ok, I've calmed down. Thankfully, Ryan did NOT go 4-3, but he did enjoy a summit at St. Augustine's in Vancouver and you'll have to ask Matt, Eric, Kasim, etc. what number that actually is, but it's probably more than the amount of points the Gladiators have this year. Ryan's luck took a hit in weeks 5 and 6, with John-Michael Liles out for a week, Tomas Nosek out for a month and Drew Stafford out forever. Still, the Shamrocks are only 1 point out of the playoffs chasing the Riders, Rapids and Monarchs. Success is within reach!
23
Brno Barons
Previous: 20 Trend: down 3
The Barons fell back to Earth a little bit, going 3-4- in their last seven games, but they're still doing better than expected and making the Power Rankings Guru's job way harder than he anticipated. It seems that the Barons are capable at taking down inferior teams, but until they can beat juggernauts like the Tigers and the Metropolitans, I'll have to keep them at 23 for now.
24
Kansas City Krunch
Previous: 23 Trend: down 1
Kirk made a HUGE splash and it's starting to pay off. He's only four points out of a playoff spot in the suddenly contentious World Conference. It can't be easy getting rid of mainstays like Corey Crawford and Jason Spezza, but you know the old rule - if it's not working, you should probably make a trade because the SIM doesn't care how "good" your roster is. Kirk, maybe give Mike some tips?
25
Chicago Tigers
Previous: 24 Trend: down 1
Not a ton of movement for the Tigers, but going 3-3-1 still does you better than half the league. I'm not ready to rise Sheetal's team up just yet, but it's definitely a step in the right direction. He's won two in a row, beating both the Barons and the Rockies. Hmm, I'm starting to remember why I didn't move the Tigers up past spot 25...
26
Vancouver Vipers
Previous: 16 Trend: down 10
Hey Bryce! No, no you're in the right place. Come on in, join myself and Ian. We're just playing a card game in the basement? Huh, no we don't get heat down here just yet. We're hoping to one day, just...might be a few years. Food? Well, Ian brought some crackers and I've got a few things of jam I stole from Denny's. Hope? Uh, I'll look around for some hope...I think I saw it next to potential in the corner somewhere...
27
Hamburg Gladiators
Previous: 27 Trend: --
I went 3-5 this week? I BEAT three teams? Have you seen my roster? I give up a ton of shots, can't score to save my life and I'm currently on a TWO GAME WINNING STREAK? Look, Jeff/Pat/Mark, I appreciate you throwing games to boost my self confidence, but for crying out loud...
28
Banff Rockies
Previous: 28 Trend: --
Ian's Rockies are healthy, mostly, so that's something! You're very likely to see Banff at the bottom of the rankings for the first couple of years, but Ian's aware and he don't care! Well, he does care, just not about anything but rebuilding for the future. As I've mentioned in previous power rankings, he's stocking up nicely and doing a much better job than me at acquiring draft picks and future talent. And he's only been in the league for, like, 20 minutes. What the hell?

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